Dear Lady. Ann:
A blessed Happy new year to you, your family & team! I just happened to see one of your clips in my recommendations about 1 week ago on YouTube, and that’s how I joined the group. Thank you for the platform, I will try to keep it as short as possible. Ok, my fiancé & I will be together for 4yrs this February. Around the time I first met him, I had my “not dating again until I find the person God has put out for me” change in life.
We stayed friends for about 6 months, before I eventually agreed to go on a date since that first date we’ve been together. I kept reminding myself not to fall to easily, as I first need my confirmation from God. Little over 1 month since first date, I got that answer.
He has felt, both in the past & recent months, that I almost neglect him or our relationship. I’ve always been busy for as long as we’ve been together. From working & studying to working extremely far from home.
To where I am now, recently unemployed. For the first time in my entire life, I have nowhere to rush to. My health (mentally, emotionally, physically) was a complete mess with my job, so being away from there, I took it as God saving me because I was getting into a very dark space.
And even this, I know had an impact on us.
Now during this pandemic, he’s carrying all our financial responsibilities (which includes both our families. I try to limit my family a lot though).
I know he is more stressed, and I myself can’t fully shut down thinking about finances. Also, I think it’s worth noting that I’m SA and he’s from NGA. So we’re learning new things about each other regularly still, due to us being in an interracial-intercultural relationship. I’ve asked him before, does he think he possibly has resentment towards me, hence we’ve been arguing more & more. I try my best to just let things calm down before taking things further but in the heat of the moment, I think we all can agree; sometimes we lose our composure.
I’ve prayed to God so many times, I’ve fasted, and still I felt like I didn’t know what to do. I got some answers eventually, and I’ve opened up to him about it. To make him see many of these tiny arguments that neither of us fully know how they start sometimes, is the devil trying to infiltrate into our relationship. We’ve tried to get pregnant as well, going to doctor’s appointment, etc. with no success (yet)
And I know, this has also put strain on our relationship. There are people who even don’t wish it for us.
I fully accept all my flaws & pray God helps me on improving myself. Because surely, I am not without flaw. I just leave the things I can’t control in God’s hands. I know this letter might seem a bit all over the place but I would like to ask for prayer over our relationship (and soon-to-be marriage). And just better communication, especially in the instance of arguments (not that I wish for them to happen though). Again, thank you so much for this platform & may our Lord God continue to bless you. Amen!