Dear Lady. Ann:
My wife and I are both in our late 20s, and we have been together for almost 8 years. We have wonderful jobs, a beautiful home, and a pretty good life. I work for a tech company and I love my job. My wife recently quit her job after we had our daughter, so that she can take care of our home and our beautiful daughter. Everything was great before we had our daughter- my wife was fun, playful, and would always initiate intimacy from time to time. Then, after our daughter was born, everything changed. Everything changed from good to boring. A lot has changed.
For the first few months, our daughter needed lots of attention: breast feeding, diapers changing, etc. I understood and accepted that we wouldn’t have as much energy for each other. But that was 2 years ago. Now our daughter is 26 months and our lives is yet to return to normal, even though the needs of our daughter is not as much as when she was first born. We rarely have sex. If we do, maybe twice a month and I do all the initiating. Even when we have sex, my wife shows very little or no emotions. Sometimes she would end up sleeping in the other bedroom.
I know and understand that life is busier now – dealing with the little one can be exhausting and whatnot. And I respond by trying to support her. When I return from work, I help my wife with doing the dishes, taking out the trash, cooking, and everything that I can do to take the burden off her. My wife is a good mom and I would like to believe that I’m a good husband and a good dad.
Everything is good except for the sex. I don’t think she is seeing someone else, but I believe something is going on and she is not letting me in. I don’t want to get involved in any extramarital affairs, but the level of frustration and sense of loneliness is killing me inside. Lady. Ann, how has this worked for other married couples? Is this the new norm many couples must live with after having kids?
-Married, but Sex Starved.
#DLATribe, how can he improve their sex life? Do they need counseling?