Dear Lady. Ann:
I have been praying to Papa (God) for a husband, but I gave up and told Papa that I will not pray for my soulmate again, even though my heart desires to get married and have my own family. Before that, when I was still in school l would always dream about a man coming to our home with a red car, coming to tell my grandfather he wants to marry me. Whenever I see the man I was always happy and excited, I would escort him to his car, sometimes I would see us walking and the man carrying a child on the shoulder. I can still remember those dreams till this day. After school, I was in a relationship that didn’t last, then I got involved in another relationship.
I truly loved him even though we were not staying together, I would go and visit him any time, my family knew about him, but his family knew there was something going on between us. It was an on and off relationship, even one day something came to my mind and told me why don’t you put something in his food or drink so that he can love you more and not think of any other woman. It was as if they were 2 voices in my mind, One of the voices would tell me that’s not what your grandparents taught you, your grandmother taught you how to pray, why do you want to be the first person to do such a thing in your family. After almost 7yrs the relationship ended and I was heart broken that I even thought of throwing myself in a moving car but something stopped me and asked me what is the use of you killing yourself.
So I went to church, it was lunchtime hours, I saw the pastor and told him
everything. He prayed for me, even though it was not easy for me to forget him, it took years to get him out of my mind. I didn’t want anything to do with him, I stayed almost 7yrs without dating ,until this year in October when I met someone. The relationship started well but all of a sudden the man just went quiet on November 20th. He was not talking to me or answering my messages, it just ended like that. I didn’t know what to say or do. I was hurt because I thought he was the one after all those years, I have always prayed every night not to have spiritual husbands or spiritual children, dear Lady Ann is there something wrong with me? I don’t understand. I am 40yrs.